I fell asleep when I was reading A Doctor In The House yesterday. It was only 8.00 pm and unwillingly, I woke up later at 11.20 pm, having 10 minutes left before my favourite TV series of all time, Desperate Housewives came to its end (that particular episode I mean, it’s now in its 7th season).
I was mad, really mad at myself because I would wait for the Tuesday to come every week so that I can watch the latest season of the series and last night I missed that out.
Fine.
So I was fine with it.
But then I was mad again because I couldn’t sleep so I ended up watching CSI:NY and Oprah wishing that I would get all sleepy from watching TV.
No, I don’t. I end up typing this right now. Oprah has brought up the issue of ‘sexual abuse’, an issue which marked a black stint of her adolescent life. She even became pregnant at the tender age of 14 but her son died shortly after birth. Having sexually abused by her own family members (cousin, uncle and a family friend), it is indeed very impressive to note that all these rather bad childhood experience of her had ignited the ‘making’ of Oprah that we know today.
This time, Oprah interviewed a family. There were the father, the mother and the abuser who is also their eldest son and another brother (or relative, I can’t recall). The victim (the sister of the abuser himself) was nowhere to be seen.
An interesting anecdote that I want to share was when Oprah commented that usually the abuser-victim relationship would appear normal on the surface, relating on her own experience, on how she had to make scramble eggs for the monster-uncle upon his request, during a usual family gathering in the kitchen. This was really hard for her, as she was in the position to have a normal niece-uncle relationship with this guy, who then continued to bedevil and betray this relationship in the background.
*The guy who molested his own sister then lamented on his defense that ‘man/boy’ get molested too, just like him. I missed the first part of the interview (because of CSI:NY), so I didn’t exactly get his side of story. But, duhh. You are making an excuse here man, you molested your own sister for God’s sake! There is nothing acceptable for this misdemeanour if you were sane. Oprah seemed to be annoyed, by the look of her face. She went on asking something like ‘So, how do you feel right now? Having realized that you molested your own sister..... blablabla’. This guy responded something like ‘No, this is not just about my sister...... blablabla’. Hmmm...... I personally feel that if you want to go public talking about something that cause embarrassment to you, be a man, face the fact, don’t deny it. *
Some people may dismiss this issue especially when it happens in a family, the most unlikely environment to take place for such event, thinking that sometimes it just a mere made-up allegations of the victims or sometimes the family would be in denial and keep it as a secret without looking for further ‘in-house’ solutions or help from the outside.
To the victims, I can feel you.
Regardless of the gender (not in the above case unfortunately as he was trying to make it as his defense), I can truly feel you.
The lost of trust. The betrayal. The anger. The disappointment. The fear. The pain. Everything.
If you feel you are at your lowest point of life, fight it. Cry your heart out but don't take too long.
Tell the stories. To the right people.
It is not a deterrent for you to swim bigger seas.
Heartbreaking as it is, God will be with you.
Something happens for a reason. Realize that your source of power lies within you.
Take care, okay?
Lots of Love,
Shifa
13 April 2011, Putrajaya
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Note:
The write-up on the paragraph in Italic may not be verbatim or reflect the actual chronology or wordings/sentences used during the interview. The comments made are based on my personal view. I would like to apologize if I look ‘biased’ to you. Nevertheless, I wish the very best for the family and thank you for coming forward to share your experience with viewers like me.
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